miss Him

I miss Him. Haven't been talking to Him the past years until lately.
Did stations of the cross last night...and just that simple thing lightened my heart. I've come to realize that problems that i feel im facing right now is NOTHING. These are but my illusions of being incomplete. Dwelling on problems, be it work or personal is just a waste of time. I realized that I have more blessings to be thankful for than problems to worry myself with.

Despite the fact that I feel my relationship with Him is not as same as before...He never turned his back on me. He even gave me more blessings that I don't think I deserve. In my prayers, what I can only utter was Im sorry...quite a number of times. For not being there. For not keeping him in the loop (in work terms hehe).

I feel that I'm quick to lose my temper and patience because I dont have Him in my life. I'm even sometimes quick to judge. I dont know if this is just a holy week thing for me...but Im seeing life differently. I feel too that Im starting to thirst for His Words. To guide me. To embrace me again. and perhaps even give my life new meaning.

I am not perfect. Nobody is I guess. I've tried my best to be the best in everything that I want to do...but shamefully I admit I have not worked hard in my relationship with Him. Ive in fact somehow neglected Him...got caught up with worldly issues.

But I thank Him for loving me despite my imperfections. For not giving up on me though we havent been talking. Maybe He's been talking to me but I wasnt listening.

Just realized that maybe some of the things that are happening to me are happening because theres something missing in my life. And i tend to look around somewhere else to fill that gap but in fact maybe its just Him thats not in my life. Or at least Im not there for Him coz He never let me feel that He's not there.

my little toddler

Drei has been walking solo when he turned one…and he loves it! He’s been playing with his “play bike” a lot, turning the handles left and right while he goes “vrrrmm..vrroom!” aaand he also does this while riding the vacuum cleaner. He has mastered eating with his fingers, and asking for his “nyum, nyum” or his rice crispies. He can now follow simple instructions like: throw this in the trash can, kiss mama, give this to papa, give mama a hug, brush your hair, etc. Drei has also mastered saying: mama, papa, t-ta (tita), wuwu (lolo), dei-dei (drei drei). He even loves dancing to Flo-rida and other upbeat songs.

He now recognizes and points to some stuff in his room when asked…like his snoopy clock, aircon, fan, burly (his bear), ball, book. He looks at his feet when you ask where are his shoes and plays with his imaginary airplane when he sees one in a book. Drei loves peek-a-boo and runs like crazy when Chito plays with him.

He’s been a handful but I love it when he kisses and hugs me…it makes me feel like the world will be just fine.

Guilty your honor!

I wanted to blog something about me this time but the moment I was composing myself to write…my mind gets filled with happy thoughts of Drei. Drei keeps me sane. Everytime I get cramped with work and I forget to even breathe, I try to stop and think of him then I’m all fine and happy and all pumped up! Haha!

But then I also feel guilty at the same time since I feel like I haven’t been paying much attention to my Chito. I am TRYing sooo hard to balance everything. I am hoping that those little sweet moments that we have will be enough for now. Hugging him in bed while he’s soundly sleeping after I give Drei to his yaya to drink his milk. Or those times when I goof around, tickling and pinching him while we’re stuck in traffic. After we get home, I am guilty of watching TV after playing with Drei rather than spending quality time with him.

I’m guilty of being too critical. I haven’t been giving him room for any mistake. I wanted him to be perfect ALL THE TIME. I know he is trying to keep up with what I want from him and I’m praying soo hard that I stop being much of a perfectionist, and wanting things done and being thought of MY way. I even question his thought process!! Sheesh, I can’t believe I’m putting him through all these.

This has bothered me for quite sometime. And now…writing about it, admitting it to myself and letting others know about it, is certainly my wake-up call. I’m just so lucky that Chito has been putting up with me. Whew!

Chito is my rock. I will surely falter without him. He’s so much a part of me. As much as I show him how strong I am he just doesn’t know how much I need him in my life. Yihee! I love you hun! Lol!

I’m lucky to have my two boys: Chito and Drei. They both keep me grounded and my constant reminder of what matters most…

Drei on strike

Drei was exclusively getting breastmilk for 8 ½ months until I got quite busy at work and I was required to travel. And travel meant me pumping and dumping my milk. I wanted to cry while I was pouring my milk down the drain while Drei was taking that darn milk formula! He’s been mixed fed for about a month now and I felt like I failed.

And for 7 straight days now, Drei’s on nursing strike. I didn’t know there was such a thing until I opened this up in an online community that I’m in. I was startled when Drei bit me while he was nursing. My initial reaction was to give him a stern No! while giving him the stink eye. He cried and pulled away. This happened twice in a span of 10mins. That was the last time that I nursed him, and everyday has been a struggle. It’s been a week since I last nursed him and I miss it. I miss our 30-minute bonding time where its only me and him…that we have our own little world. And the way he snuggles up to me at night when he wants to nurse while I cuddle him to dreamland.

I feel like breastfeeding is a blessing. Not all are given the opportunity to breastfeed but I felt like I took it for granted. And that maybe God is getting it back from me. The past week made me realize that it is indeed a gift…and I look forward to holding Drei in my arms while he nurses. I hope to win him back and I promise I will try sooo hard to keep nursing him until he self-weans.

Dear God, please help.

my bee's 1st trick or treat

I was excited but hesitant. This will be the first time that Drei will be with so much kids at a time. Considering the number of times we’ll be riding the elevator (which drives him nuts!) and all the noise and confusion, I thought my Drei will go berserk.

It was a good 2.5hrs of craziness! HSBC held a Halloween treat for employees’ kids last week. We registered at the 10th flr at about 1pm. Drei was quiet at first, just looking at the other kids all dressed up. He enjoyed a few minutes of quiet time while he was 10 floors looking down at Ayala ave.


This was minutes before chaos!


Various departments at the TEC office dressed themselves up and their offices. Within the next hour, he was cranky. It was supposed to be nap time but there I was dragging Drei up and down the elevator, through the “trail” of the offices, and lining up for the treats.


He gulped on his milk, and then he was all charged up and perky! Drei got a lot of loot, where he munched on marshmallows and biscuits!


It was a fun but tiring day! But I’m happy that he put up with all the noise, the kids, and the new faces.

my celeb look a likes haha!!

Supplier Ratings

Ive posted this at the weddings@work yahoogroups...just want to share this with everyone
Rating:
5 – highly recommendable…our hats off!!
4 - recommendable…worth your money
3 - good…delivered just right
1 - poor …failed to deliver

CHURCH: Nuestra Senora de Gracia (NSDG)
Rating: 5++
The church was beautiful…as I expected it to be. Downside though was that it was raining like there’s no tomorrow and we weren’t able to take pics outside the church. But almost everyone who saw the church for the first time fell in love with it. I was so happy they loved it like my hubby and I did.

Good thing though that it rained coz we had a cool breeze. We were worried na mainitan yung guests coz the church doesn’t have aircon units but the rains had its benefits kahit papano hehe!

CHURCH FLOWERS: Kuya Melo (in-house NSDG)
Rating: 5++
I upgraded my flowers and added a measly 2k but it came out really elegant. I had calla lilies for my aisle flowers and I loved it!!

RECEPTION VENUE: Wack-Wack Golf & Country Club (Banquet A&B)
Rating: 4
I was worried that a 280 pax accommodation will come out too crowded…but it was just right. The place was worth more than the money we spent for it.

However, they accommodated an afternoon event in our venue so it ended up that VS&F wasn’t able to set up on time; though VS&F still managed to completely set up before majority of the guests came in

CATERER: VS&F Catering
Rating: 5++
FOOD: Superb! Our guests complimented the food…Im happy that they enjoyed it as much as we did.

SET-UP: Despite the fact that they had limited time to set up due to the prior event that wack-wack accommodated, they did good. Their table arrangements was more than I expected. It was actually what I requested…I just didn’t expect that it’ll come our really great…very elegant. I requested long stemmed white calla lilies in tall vases with 3 fishbowls with floating candles in light green colored water and I didn’t pay extra for it. It was sooo nice. That’s actually the first thing you’ll see in the venue. Our guests loooved it!

PHOTO/VIDEO: Chito Vecina Photography
Rating: 5++

Chito and his crew came to our hotel (1) hour ahead of schedule. Haven’t taken my shower yet that time, hehe! They were very professional and didn’t make us feel that they’re waiting quite long na. When they got in, they set-up their equipment and took pics of the rings, gown, etc. Francis, Chito’s assistant photographer made us feel comfortable too. Chito and I had a chat and he asked if Im having jitters etc. Im happy I got them.

They also played a slideshow of pics during the hotel preps and the ceremony, which wasn’t part of our agreement but they played it! We weren’t able to see it but our guests told us that the pics were great specially the candid shots (which is Chito’s specialty). They were the one of the last suppliers who left since they took some pics of us after the reception. I was super touched coz they really waited for us after we had some picture taking with friends and said our hello’s to our guests. Very professional and mukhang hindi pa rin pagod…like us!

OTD COORDINATOR: Posh Parties
Rating: 10!!!
Tess, Erika, and Aline are my dream team. They absorbed all the stress!! Haha! They’re off the charts that’s why I gave them a 10 for all their extra effort. When my couturier didn’t show up during my preps (this one’s a looong story!), it came out that my gown was a bit loose…since I lost more weight from our last fitting. Tess (of Posh Parties), without any hesitation, got a sewing kit and adjusted it herself. She didn’t let me or my mom stress about it. I was really touched…

I didn’t also feel that VS&F was not able to set up on time. Some problems came up but they told it to me after they already made a solution. I didn’t see them sweat! My in-laws and some of our guests told us that they were very professional and organized.

We got our emcee from VS&F about 3 days prior the wedding, but I was surprised that Posh parties was able to brief them well about the whole program and she did well too.

Worth more than the money we paid for them!! Highly recommendable.

MUSIC-CHURCH & RECEPTION: JJS ENTERTAINMENT
Rating: 10++
Oh yeah, they’re way off my charts too! They over-delivered though I haggled to death for the package rate they gave me, heheh! John (JJS Ent. Owner) was sooo easy to talk with. He was willing to work with you on anything. He suggested an acoustic quartet (which my husb and I loved) and it came out really good. He gave me a reaaally worth-it package and added a male vocalist to the acoustic group as a gift. I didn’t expect he’ll give in to my request since I selected some duet songs and some which will require a male vocalist. Ang galing din nung male vocalist…he sang “the way you look tonight” for our first dance…and it was sooo romantic.

I was soo happy too that ALL, mind you, ALL the songs I requested were played. Some of my closest friends told me that the music selection was so me, heheh! Si husband kasi gusto rock eh shempre wedding yun diba so I chose our super favorite songs and mine.


BRIDAL CAR: JJS Entertainment
Rating: 5
I had this packaged with our acoustic quartet. Our driver was on time and was very generous too in assisting me going in and out of the car since it was raining like hell that day. The car was a 2003 S series Benz, something like that…and got it for a REAALLY good deal. John (JJS Ent. Owner) was very very kind! Highly uberly recommended talaga!

ENTOURAGE FLOWERS: Mang Boy of Dangwa
Rating: 10++
Oh, I loved my bouquet…even Tess of Posh parties was surprised how beautiful all the flowers came out. I had about 5-6 dozens of deep red roses bouquet and the ento flowers were a combination of roses, gerberas, lilies, something something. Basta it was really nice… J

HMUA: Faces by Erika Saenz
Rating: 4.5
Erika made me look beautiful…she enhanced my features really well and my make-up withstood our long day and the weather too. She was there during the church pictorials to retouch…she made sure I looked perfect.

Im about to give her a 5 except for the hair stylist she partnered with. My hair looked good though…kulang lang sa hairspray that’s why Erika kept on fixing it during our pictorials. But overall…I’ve no complaint at all.


COUTURIER: Taal, Batangas supplier
Rating: 1
The nightmare of the year! I wasn’t really ranting during the preps here at w@w coz I was wishing the stress we went through were all worth it…but I’d say no. A friend recommended them and we just went to Taal once to meet them and try to figure out some designs etc. I wanted to save kasi and I regret it. The stress is not worth the savings we got. They said they don’t mind going from Batangas to Manila for the fitting coz they frequent Divisoria anyways.

So here it goes:
- our ento gowns are for first time use and was informed they’ll charge us about 500-600 each gown. Not bad huh? So I figured, I made a good find here. When they had the gowns done, they charged me 1500ea coz they used daw a different cloth/material. I let them have the freedom to choose (ano ba kasi alam ko sa cloth) but courtesy says they should have asked me first if its okay for me to pay more with their chosen cloth…the nerve di ba?
- During fittings for the ento and mine, they’d either be late by 2 hours or 2 days!!! Yeah 2 days, they’ll give all the excuses in the world
- Worst part of all, they didn’t go to my hotel preps to make sure the gown fit me well…what could be more worse than that? Buti na lang my coordinator was super helpful and we just adjusted it ourselves

But overall, I had the grandest time of my life…our guests told us that their favorite part was when we had our first dance and hugged like we were the only ones in the room. They said they felt how much we love each other. That made everything so worth it, knowing that people enjoyed our wedding and they felt how happy Chito and I were that day.

I’ll soon share some of our pics…happy preps to everyone!!! Super helpful w@w for clueless brides, and im uber thankful to everyone who has been very generous with tips kahit minsan lurker lang ako, I surely learned a lot.


WAAAHHH!!! Sorry long post po…Hth!