Tuesday, July 19, 2005

everything happens for a reason

I learned a lot from my previous relationship.
I became a person I was not. I loved myself less. Allowed myself to be vulnerable. I hanged on when its not worth the pain and tears. I hoped he would change. I disrespected myself by letting him hurt me. Treat me badly when I hardly displease him. It was always about him. That I need to adjust because he wants something else. That I have to understand him every single time. That I had no right to complain about us because he thinks my views are trivial. I let him put me down.

It was my fault. All these could’ve not happened had I not allowed him to do it the first time. I knew all along what I was made of. But I allowed him to change the way I think about myself. I was hurt soo badly. I cried until no tears fell and my eyes almost closed. Being with him makes me feel bad…makes me sad. But I still stayed.

As one famous philosopher once said…”anything that doesn’t kill you makes you better” And when things get even worse we say (everybody now…) “everything happens for a reason.”

I learned to value myself more and reassess the way I view relationships. I realized that sometimes what I want doesn’t necessarily mean it’s what I need.

But my relationship now with my Bear is all that I need and more. He appreciates the beautiful person in me. He makes me feel so loved, so cared for, so special. His soul fills up mine and his heart captivates mine every single day. He makes me feel like I can conquer the world. Having him beside tells me that yes at the end of each day, everything will be okay. I never thought I would feel such kind of love so pure and so true.

I’m grateful everyday having him in my life. I never thought that such kind of happiness that I feel right now would happen to me. I am just so overwhelmed knowing that God answered my prayers and gave me not what I wanted but what I needed.

I wouldn’t trade “us” for anything. I am the luckiest person in the world, coz my dream man came knocking at my door. A blessing that I would forever be thankful for.

2 comments:

Chito said...
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Chito said...

you're really so sweet. i'm glad i make you so happy. it really makes everything we've been through all the more worth it. i love you so much! *mwah!*